Boy Scouts or criminals: Be prepared

You gotta be ready and on your game.  It’s common sense, whether you’re going to a job interview or going to kick the crap out of someone who owes you money. Think ahead and be strategic; be sure to secure whatever weapon you think you’re gonna need.

Don’t arrive at the scene empty-handed. Because then you’re stuck choosing between using your fists or your prosthetic leg for the beatdown. That’s a predicament these two fine, upstanding Lunenburg men found themselves in recently:

Littleton police responded to Springdell Farm at 571 Great Road on Tuesday afternoon for a report of two men who assaulted a worker, Richard Smith, who was hanging wallpaper in the owner’s kitchen.

Police say the owner told police she was working in her office about 1:30 p.m. when she heard a noise in the kitchen. When she went to check, she allegedly saw two strange men, later identified as brothers Paul Walsh, 48, and John Walsh, 50, allegedly assaulting Smith.

Littleton police allege that when the two brothers showed up at Smith’s workplace, John Walsh grabbed a beer bottle and began to beat Smith with it. As Smith ran into the house to escape, the brothers followed, police said.

At one point, John Walsh, who has a prosthetic leg, took off the leg and used it to beat Smith, police said.

– Lowell Sun

Now, there have been plenty of objects used as weapons. Frying pans, bats, beer bottles, a table leg. But, no question, a prosthetic leg has to its place at the top of the inventive weapons list. At what point do you say to yourself, “Ya know, I could really teach this guy a lesson by clubbing him with my artificial limb.”

Unfortunately, if this case goes to trial, poor Mr. Smith doesn’t have a leg to stand on. At least until he retrieves it from the evidence table.

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