Really, Tom Brady?

I just don’t know what to say. This picture makes me feel … disappointed. No, flummoxed. No, confused. Hell, I don’t know how I feel.

Despite some pretty risky decisions off the field, Tom Brady has gotten a pass on virtually every one. Posing with a goat for a magazine cover, making some questionable hairstyle choices, crying like a baby during a nationally televised interview while recalling how he slipped to the sixth round in the NFL Draft nearly 12 years — 12 YEARS AGO!!!

Brady has spent his entire professional life eluding the rush of gigantic, blood-thirsty football players seeking to put him on his ass. Throughout an 11-year pro career, Brady has maintained a remarkable sense of composure, lighting up defenses with pin-point passes and leading a former laughingstock franchise to three Super Bowl titles.

But what is it that has finally made him lose that uber cool edge, that one thing that makes him get all giddy inside, to the point of looking like, well, a total dork?

A waterslide. A freaking waterslide. Granted this photo is of very poor quality, but you see it. We all see it. This could be one of the most unflattering photos of a football player, ever. Ever.

A man who we all thought was invincible has somehow lost his luster. I mean, just look at him! I can’t help but envision him hopping up on a chair now, a look of terror on his face as Gisele has to chase down that mouse in the kitchen. Leaving a nightlight on to ward off the Boogeyman. Having his meal cut up into bite-size pieces.

My god, what has happened to you, sir?

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